Partners in mind

Last night and tonight’s art is dance and altering dance costumes.

I’ve confirmed that my health clinic treats ADHD as well as anxiety/depression, but my next appointment is still a week and a half away.

As much as I want to I can’t drop everything and deep dive into ADHD learning right now. And I want to. Oh when I want to do something boy do I want to.

The current priorities are:

I’m wrapping up third/last semester at school. This involves a lot of lesson plans, busy days, shifting schedules.

Studio 10th year anniversary show this Sunday.

Last night, after work, I went to the studio to rehearse with my dance partner/ friend/ studio owner, H.

Reading how ADHD presents in adult women hasn’t simply meant that I’ve seen >me< on the pages. H and I are very similarly wired but where we differ has always been a source of stress.

I am punctual. I have clocks in every room and make full use of kitchen timers to stay on track. I religiously use the train schedule app on my phone.

If kept waiting once I’ve made it somewhere, I become a fidgety mess. I can’t just wait. This is why I often pack projects and extra distractions.

H is habitually late. She has great difficulty estimating time and distance.

She’s gotten better about alerting me that she will be late, instead of just being tardy and then apologizing.

I’ve also learned that sending her a text message about 1-2 hours before we meet, that’ says I’m looking forward to seeing her at (time and place) is helpful for her and isn’t seen as a rude reminder.

Our other major clash.

I am a clutter bug who has developed an intense focus on decluttering. I know how clutter creates external stress for me and work hard to reduce it.

H is a clutterbug but at the studio her priority is managing the studio and often teaching while her 1 year old son is also present.

Clutter at the studio drives me to distraction. I will focus on items out of place and child handprints on mirrors instead of choreography and what I’m teaching next.

We’ve reached a defined agreement for the sake of our relationship. I will come early for extra studio cleaning when I teach, which tends to be the evening after her teaching. She knows I’ll clean what she doesn’t register at messy or can’t deal with. I’ve budgeted the time do I can do so without feeling like it interferes with my work and focus.

Before we rehearsed H and I had a long discussion about how to better communicate and schedule in light of our brains.

My love of making thing with my hands and her loathing of anything to do with sewing defines my art practice tonight.

She figured out years ago that she’ll never be up for moving hooks on her dance costumes. If she doesn’t pay someone to alter and adjust her costumes it won’t get done. She pays me.

I make costumes.

So tonight I’ll be altering some of her costumes, including one I first made for myself in 2009. H purchased it two years ago, early in her pregnancy, so accommodate her changing body.

We’d wear the matching costumes I made us but her house ate hers and she’s been realistic about the fact she would not have the energy to find it before the show.