Eat Your Serving of Elephant

Yesterday I hit an emotional low.

I felt stuck, numb, and like any movement forward was so incremental that I simply had to have faith it was happening. Faith is a tricky thing to have when the mind/body says it’s time to simply feel low. Faith is creating a feeling of reality and my feelings where not agreeable.

The usual ways of alleviating such times were not working. Working out didn’t help. Making things didn’t help. I’d put in place more social stuff to do soon with friends but not until the following day.

A few friends did reach out to me by text/messenger though.

One reminded me that “you make your future, it doesn’t just happen.”

”I know, I’m trying to”

Which was my way of saying that the way forward feels so unclear and its difficult to tell if I’m moving towards anything. It is hard. It’s disorienting. I guess that’s what making a future is about, it’s an act of orienting yourself and trying to move in that direction.

He followed up with, “you can’t eat an elephant in one sitting”

And I know what that is supposed to mean but the lost child in me just had unhelpful questions about the elephant.

Is it possible to eat a whole elephant before it goes bad?

How much storage does one need to refridgerate or freeze the remaining parts to eat?

Do I even want to eat a whole elephant?

Will I finish the elephant and realize that my effort was misspent and I’d rather have eaten a flock of peacocks instead?

But, yes, I know it’s the same as 「千里の道も一歩から」A Thousand mile journey starts with a single step.

And that’s the theme here; setting small, clear, achievable goals. The first bites and single steps I am trying to take.

Which brings us to the doll of the week.

Three month goal: Each week to get a sense of my workflow/output potential create three blog posts and one doll a week.

Follow-ups: For month four; adapt that goal for the next few months and move the shop to my web page create a Patreon.

This is the third week and it is bumpy. I have three blog entries and….most of a doll and some of next week’s doll because:

• I ran out of the fixative (MSC/ Mr. Super Clear) used for doing doll face-ups. Last Thursday it looked like I might not be able to get more delivered before February.

• I picked out the eye-chips for this week’s doll…and then forgot to order them in a timely fashion, they’ll arrive in a few days.

• The doll head I was using this week had been modified by its previous owner in a way that prevented me from using the doll body I had planned.
  

The good news for my doll output is the MSC arrived yesterday, so I CAN finish this doll and make more dolls next week. I also located a different body I can use.

Dal custom waiting for her eyes

Dal awaiting a headband.

This snow-themed girl will get her eyes in a few day.
I’ll write more about the making of her outfit (what patterns and fabrics I used) and maybe make her a fur collar and a cute headband.
I found two more Comfy Squad bodies in lighter skin tones I’ll get in the next few days as well. This is Anna and I’ve adapted the head to use this neck-peg.

When I didn’t know if I’d have MSC to prime and fix dolls I planned an alternate doll project for the last week of this month.

I was going to work on making a doll trunk.

Boxes thus far, very rough.

Now that I have MSC I think I’ll do a bit of both. I’ll work on the trunk and I’m going to finish a long dormant project doll.

The Patchwork Girl of Oz….I am Ozma.

There are many reasons this has been a dormant project. I had been excited by my first attempt to add more articulation to non-possable arms…but it was also a hassle.

I don’t know that I should have put so much work into the body when I didn’t know if I could get the arms to work…so I stopped. I didn’t even have the right tools for the jobs back then!

But with so much work in the body how could I toss this?

Scraps torso and legs

This week I might not have finished my portion of elephant but I’m in a position to be all caught up next week.

A journey starts with a single step…but the steps to follow will not always go quickly or in the direction you want them to go. That’s why you have and end-point…so no matter how you’ve wandered you can redirrect.